Let's Meet Again In The Same Universe!

What was holding us back? What was making us feel complete when we were not complete. Why it all felt beautiful and peace being around each other. Why did we still feel alone even when we knew we had each other? Why we never chose each other even after knowing we are already chosen. Why is it still so difficult to accept the way it all is? A Lot of questions are there in heart but definitely not in the mind. The reason is that, mind is all engaged with the career already and has no time for the flashbacks. But of course, the heart has quite plenty of time to think about the mess going side by side in life and I am also helpless in that case.  I decided to clear it all, and confront myself the day I will have no other issues but just one. And I guess today is the day. I still do have many issues along but I feel today it is more messed up that is affecting nothing but just the heart.

@quotesnidhi

@NSmedia

I decided to talk myself out. So I went into my room, closed the doors and took out all the stuff that belonged to us. Spread them, assembled some of them in front of me and then boom! This exactly was the feeling when I met those memories again. Not able to decide whether to cry or smile, so I simply chose none of them. I went through all of them. The pen we exchanged, the bus tickets we bought together, the bill we shared, our first movie tickets, our 1st chocolate we shared, your first shirt that I took from you, our first sorry letter we wrote, our first birthday gifts, valentine’s gift, anniversary gifts, our first in relation selfie, our first book we read together, our first kiss at the college terrace, our first hug in the classroom, our first date, the first sex. Every first was lying in front of me, but I wish it was all. I open the memories box again and there I found our every lasts, our last date, last kiss, last film we watched together, last book we read, last bill we shared, last gifts, last sex, last selfie and the last hug. I arranged them all again to see if I missed anything. I did it once, twice, thrice but still wasn’t satisfied. At last I took a deep deep breath and inhaled from my inhaler(yeah! I am asthmatic). I arranged it all in a way, all firsts in 1st row and all lasts in the 2nd row just below it's first. Every first got it’s match to its last except for one. The first sorry letter was alone. It had no partner. It was placed all alone. And that’s where my heart skipped a beat as if it was all the heart was looking for. As if it was all the heart wanted. But why now? Why the last sorry? Why after four years? Why not then only? Why after being together and still not together? Isn’t the thing we always wanted? Being there but not being there. Didn’t we decide to be alone by being around.  Was it the last sorry that we seeked or just me? When we made every first and last of things we did together then why did we leave the last sorry? Was it too hard to say or was it not worthy to be said?

@pinterest

But aren’t we still fine the way we are? Having each other and still looking for someone who can understand us, knowing we already understand each other even more than before. By the passing time we made our bond strong. But which bond? The friendship? The love? 

Oh shit!  Aren’t we ‘the complicated’ that we never wanted to be? Damn. did you know we will end up being this? Or you still are clueless about what we are? In all this fuss, I know one thing that I am still not ready to lose you and I will never be. Maybe because I don’t want to or maybe I don’t know how to. So much to sort but so little to untangle. We are lucky and unlucky at the same time as we know what we are looking for is around but not able to accept it. 

What can we do? What should we do now? What could be done now? Let’s not start it all with the fights and arguments again. Let’s get into a clear sky where our moon isn’t hidden behind the clouds but sparkles all the light on us. Let’s lie under that moonlight and smile together with each other. Let’s start our all first again by writing the last letter of sorry.

PS:- I went through our love box where I found myself happy and much more at peace. I lived our every first and last again but alone. I want to live again with those beautiful moments again. I want to make more and more memories together. If you agree please sign the agreement by saying let’s meet again in the same universe!