6.The last day in Delhi. A day before I was leaving the city

                                                 The Unknown Relation

                                                           6.The Last day in Delhi

Finally! Finally I packed my bags and I was all set to take a leave. It was my last day in Delhi, the city that gave me hundreds and  took thousands from me. Leaving Delhi was never too easy for me as my family, my friends and my love all was here in Delhi but I wanted to start up all again. I wanted to start my life all again. Raj’ s double face.  He never loved me but always showed that.  Well this was not the thing that hurt me but it was the trust that I lost in someone. Kartik, all confused with his feelings and never wanted to admit it. He has always run from these things. Well let me tell what Kartik was doing in his life. He was doing his MBBS from one of the best college of medial. VMMC was his dream place and so he achieved.  He was more goal focused. For him, his everything was his books and I was interfering into his goal life, not by myself but because of his own feelings.

The last night in my city Delhi. I was standing near to my window with the ticket to Pune in my hand and was feeling that cold breeze while they crossed my face.  I loved that moment all again as I found my imaginary Kartik standing beside me holding my hand once again and was looking into my eyes. One more time I felt his presence when he was not around. My imaginary Kartik was looking into my eyes and the words of real Kartik crossed my mind that he doesn’t want me to leave him. While my imaginary he held my hands and I was so in love again with the same person. From there our conversation started.

Kartik, “ so finally it’s Pune right?

“Ahann! Finally..”

“Hmm. So you actually want to go now.”- Kartik

“I always wanted to.”

“What’s wrong here in Delhi?”- Kartik

“Nothing, just like you I have my dreams too.”

“ Hmm.” -Kartik

“ I don’t even have any reason to stay here anymore. You don’t have any answer to any question then why should  I stay?”

“I am sorry Kavya, but this is what I am. I can’t love any one.”-Kartik

“Am I like other girls in your life?”

“No. you were, you are and will always be different for me.”-Kartik

“Like love is different for you haan? I am also different, we are different but not love, hmm.”

“ Kavya I don’t know what is it but I can’t see you hurt. If I am the reason too I will leave because you are not meant to be hurt.”- Kartik

“Kartik, I have so many of questions and you never answer any. I want answers, I want reasons.  Remember when it all started? It started when you first said in school that Kavya if I will confess now our career will be spoiled even I didn’t feel that way in those days. It started when you said that Kavya what if I will say that I am in love with you while staring at me in the computer lab. It started when you said that only I have the right on you. It started when you said you feel for me. It started when you said that no one can take my place in your life. It started when you said that you don’t want me to go away from your life. It started when you said that it felt relief to be around me, to be with me, time used to be just a thing when you are around. It started when you said that no matter how far we go I will always be the same for you because no one can be me for you. It started when I said that I will leave the day you will find someone and you reciprocated that we are permanent in each other’s life and so you are irreplaceable. Kartik, your words were always different from your actions. You have always showed your love but never accepted that.  Like I used to say someday that I don’t and can’t even love you just the same way you reciprocated with no such difference.  It has been four years and now I need answers and not just this ‘I don’t know.’ It took me two years to accept and how much you want? Why can’t you just go or just stay? Why to leave it every time that too with more complications?”

The moment I speak up all again to my imaginary Mr. Perfect, he was again gone along with the night moon sky. That one sided conversation left me awake from the sleepless night till the morning sunrise. The moon was waving goodbye from the west and the sun was giving the best smile from the east, like always. Yes, the conversation that I started at night near to my window ended up with the morning sunrise.  Just for that while my heart asked me to confront him for once and last. I was all filled with so many of questions but I just felt helpless because I knew he would have no answer. The person who even can’t answer things to himself that person will not ever be able to answer me even.

It was the morning and it was finally the time to leave the city and the people. I decided not to open this chapter ever again till I don’t get the answers. It was somewhat impossible for me to leave him but for that while I needed a break from all this mess and to do something in life like he was doing. He was never too easy for me but he taught me one thing that only I am responsible for myself and so I applied that and I waved the last goodbye to the city, to the people, to the friends and to the questions. Kartik was still unaware of this thing that I have left Delhi. I took the flight with all calm and relaxed and with enthusiasm. I landed to my dream city PUNE. Yes, Finally! It was just me, my dreams and Pune…….

                                                                                                To be continued……………..