4. The Beginning Again.

                               The Unknown Relation

                                   4. The Beginning

After so much of stuff I left Raj but Raj was still there. He wanted me to contact Kartik. He wanted me to confess all. He wished me luck to do so and held my hand saying, “no matter what, if you need me just call me.” His words were enough for me as I felt like I still have someone with me. Those days were one of the critical time for me as I was supposed to go back into my past. The past I left and decided never to look back, I was supposed to read that chapter all again. Raj asked me to dial that same old number but I forgot the few digits. I said, “see even our destiny don’t want us to meet again.” Raj was always full of positive vibes and so he asked me to manage this by my own. He had made his mind to let me go with Kartik and here all I was thinking that what if he would have someone else in his life. Why should I go if he himself asked me leave. Many things were going on into my small head and Raj always read them all without my saying.

One fine day Raj came to me and said, “I am tired of you. I don’t love you and you are just a stupid person. I even don’t want to be your friend.” At that time I didn’t know what happened and I still don’t know that why he did so. I was listening to him very quietly with a dumb looking face as if I knew that this was going to be happen someday. He said a lot more things and left. You know what I did? Instead of following him or asking him that what happened I picked up my phone and dialed a number on truecaller. With numerous tries and tons of shivering I got the number named- Kartik Sharma. Looking at the name and the number my eyes got filled with tears and my heart was going through something sweet and loving moments. His name got me the same goosebumps all again that I got for the first time. Raj was no more a part of my life. I didn’t want him to go as I had started falling for him. I wanted to move on in my life with Raj but my life never went so smooth and I lose a star. I didn’t love him the way I did Kartik but yes Raj was also a nice guy. He left and never came back neither I tried as I wanted him to be with the right.

The chapter of Kartik Sharma started again. The destiny brought us together again. We started talking again. He was doing what he dreamed for. The call conversations again turned into the same long text conversations that we used to had before. We started caring for each other and again became the part of each other’s life. Sooner our text conversations turned into face to face talks. We had the same routes for our colleges so we decided to go along. We started to meet on regular basis. Our meetings always had some spark. We never had the eye contacts. I remember when I was waiting for Kartik and was listing to music. I was lost in the music like always and didn’t realize when he arrived. To wake me up from my music world he tapped on my fingers. That tap just gave me again the goosebumps. I was again falling in love with him and this time with more intensity.

Time passed by and one day we discussed about us that what we are for each other. For the first time he confessed that he had feelings for me since the school days. ‘Mr. Kartik Sharma felt something for Miss Kavya Mathur.’ That time I told myself that Kavya you didn’t feel something by yourself. There was something in between us and we both were unaware of that. The moment he confessed was the most beautiful part of my life. But as I said before that my life never went smooth and so one more time it was proven. Kartik accepted his feelings but he didn’t name his feelings. He said I was different for him, I was more for him. He counted every points that a person who is in love says but he ended his sentence by saying, “Kavya, I love to spend time with you, I love to stay with you. I don’t want you to go when you are with me. I feel relaxed when you are around. I have never felt this way for anyone. You were always different for me since the school days. But it is not love. I wish I could reciprocate to your love you texts.” I was laughing that moment and crying at the same time too, that what the hell he just said right now. Is he mad or something or just making me fool or is he just running away from this stuff. Kartik was always afraid of love and he always thought that love was something that he was not made for. I knew this from the beginning, the day I knew him. Anyhow I categorized his feeling as an attraction. He was satisfied with this and so I was also fine with his satisfaction. But somewhere I was going through a thought that is it really happening? I was not able to console myself even. Just one question was going through my head that how you can be just attracted to a person since last 4 years and in that period we lost the contact for a year. Well this was hitting my head a lot and along with this I was not able to make a decision that whether to leave or to stay because I was clear with my feeling that I loved him and he was just attracted for me. Things again went complicated and this time more puzzled. We were not able to stay as there was nothing in between us and we were not able to leave as there was something in between us…

                                                                                

                                                                                                    TO BE CONTINUED……………