3.The lost chapter

                                                 The Unknown Relation

                                                   3.The Lost Chapter

The time you left, the time we chose the two different paths,  I decided to move on.  It took me a while to do so but after one year I moved on in my life. I was happy again and started living the way I used to do before. Schools were over and it was time to enter the new phase of life, ‘The college life’.  The admissions were going on and I was still confused whether  to  take admission or to drop this year.  Then it came the family counseling that every person has experienced and so it happened with me too. I applied for the DU colleges and then I was wondering that why did I do that? Anyhow I counseled myself that everything happens for a reason so it would be better  to leave things on time.  I went to the college to check my name in the list of selected students and yes, I was in. Kavya Mathur, the 5^th name on the list. My brother was with me and with the joyous  feeling I hugged him and called daddy to give this news. 

The most awaited day in everyone’s life, the first day of my college. I got the late admission and so the first day of my college was the fresher’s party. Everyone was aware of each other as they already  knew each other. I was nervous and I still remember when I was called up on the stage for the introduction round I did a blunder with the seniors names. There I found few more girls who were new the college like  first day- fresher’s day. I found two girls and we all three enjoyed the company all together.

In between the celebration my phone rang and my two friends read the name aloud, Raj is calling. Raj was my boyfriend to  whom I committed just two days before my college started.  He was a nice person, lived near to my place. My two girlfriends were quite excited about Raj. As the time kept on going the bond of three of us became stronger and Raj was also comfortable with them too. Sometimes I found him laughing with my girlfriends and making fun of me. I really liked him the way he always tried to keep me happy and never  left any moment to show his love. Before Raj came into my life I didn’t even know that someone named ‘Raj’ lives  in my neighbourhood. He was two years elder than me doing his engineering from some college. He had feelings for me since last two to three and I was all unaware of this fact. The day he proposed me one person from my past crossed my mind and I didn’t know why but I said yes to him. I took the rose he offered me and hugged him.  Raj was a nice guy and  he always kept me happy. One fine day we were sitting in a garden and were discussing about our past love and affairs. He told me about everyone and everything including his past four girlfriends too. He asked me about my life and I was like you are my first boyfriend. I never had any relation before this. He looked at me with a blank face as if he was expecting a list of relations crossing his record. He asked me a question that did I ever have a one sided untold love story? I was having just an answer that I had a good friend in my school days. He was curious to know about him and about our relation. I didn’t want to share that part of my life but his innocent face left me with no other option except  to tell him. Raj was becoming an important part of my life as we completed six months and we always had each other whenever we went through any ups and downs, so I didn’t want to hurt him by telling him about my past life because somewhere I knew that I was in love with that person but I never accepted that.

I handed over my diary to him so that he could get the answers of his all questions. Before handing that diary to him I just said one thing, “ I hope things between us won’t change after this.”  He smiled and kissed my forehead and said, “ nothing will change because of your past life.” That moment my mind went through many riddles and I was able to solve none. After I gave my dairy to him  we didn’t see each other for a couple of weeks. I was afraid to call him and he was busy in reading the lines.

After two weeks  we met at the same place from where we started the journey together. He came near and said, “ Kavya, do  you love me?” For one more time someone asked me the same question and again I was like shit.  Why this question always  arises in my life. Why can’t someone just be happy and enjoy the company together. Why all want to know the love says. Anyhow I calmed down myself and  said, “yes, I do.” He reciprocated with something very unexpected words, “ do you love Kartik? The very first page of your diary is inked with the name highlighted ,KARTIK.”  With a very hesitating and stammering voice I answered, “ Raj, now it’s you. He was never the one who you are to me. He was my friend that’s all.” Raj was all set to burst  out  but his love for me never let him do that. He handed me the diary and said, “ you are not fooling me, you are doing wrong to yourself. You love him but still running away from him. Go and tell him if you want him otherwise I am always there for you and I love you.” He left that place and I found myself laughing over the situation that just a single name, Kartik, did a huge blunder in my life again.

I went to Riya and Monika and they said you have to choose one. I was just wondering one thing that how could I choose one when there is only one. Raj was the only one with me and Kartik, we haven’t seen each other in last 1.5 years. Beside all this high drama, Raj never left me. He was still there calling me every night talking the same way. Meeting me everyday and made me laugh everytime. But we all know that we can’t run away from the situations. I was again lost in thoughts of Kartik. He was again ruling my mind and heart. Unknowingly  I started calling Raj as Kartik. I started talking about him with Raj, I started reading my old conversations with Kartik and my everything again stopped at Kartik.

In all this Raj was going through a lot. It was not his fault but still he was suffering. Raj was in love with the girl who never believed in love. Raj never hurt me the way I did him. After a lot of conversations, arguments and many love moments I realized that I was having feelings for both of them and I was supposed to make it a simple equation by choosing one. Raj was always the person but I never loved him. I decided to leave him and I accepted that I love Kartik and I can never love someone else the way I love him. I may found someone else but the place that Kartik owns will never be taken by someone else. I broke Raj’ s  heart and felt guilty to do so but Raj never blamed me for anything. The last conversation I had with him was something that made me think about Kartik even more. He said, “ it’s not just you it’s him also. You both love each other but you both are running from each other, I don’t know the reason but Kavya, finding love is the world’s best feeling and you are lucky that the person  whom you love he  loves you too.” Raj wanted me to go back to Kartik but I never wanted that but Raj was closer to my heart so just for him I tried to contact Kartik again.

                                                                                       

                                                                                                            -To be continued.